Happy Gotcha Day!

If there is was just one thing that we could warn those who may be interested in adoption, it would be the last day jitters! When we look back on it now, it entirely makes sense that this would be the most difficult day of all. We just wish that we had been forewarned. The time arrived for the paperwork to be completed with Robin, the social worker. She asked us take a step out of the room so she could have a few minutes to talk with Hope, to ensure that she wanted to follow through with the adoption plan.We anxiously sat in the waiting room for what felt like hours. In reality, we were only waiting for maybe 30 minutes or so. We spent some time in prayer. We prayed for Hope’s heart, for Robin’s words, and for the stress and worry that was ensuing quickly within us. As Robin returned to begin our portion of the paperwork, the look on her face brought immediate devastation to the very depths of our souls. We were certain at that moment that it was all off, the entire adoption, that everything we had been through was for naught. Upon her return, only a few words were exchanged. She filled us in briefly on how difficult this day can be for both the birth and adoptive parents. This adoption was very different from the circumstances of Hope’s previous adoption, and she found herself second guessing whether she wanted to continue…

We were then left in the waiting room, together with our many thoughts. There are no adequate words to describe what consumed our minds at this very moment. We burst into tears... all hope seemed lost. Some serious encouragement was needed, so we reached out to a marvelous brother & sister in Christ who utilized this opportunity to pray over the entire situation. The peace that overcame us was almost instantaneous, though our nerves were still quite rattled. 

Robin returned once again to let us know that though somewhat unsure, Hope still wanted to continue with the plan for Zoey to be sent home with us that day. We gathered ourselves and took the walk back to Hope’s room hand-in-hand. The vibe was entirely different. Hope had little to say and stared down at her phone much of the remainder of the hospital stay. While we both wanted to just hurry home and wash off the stressors of the day, there was still one more very large task at hand. We were slotted to drive Hope back to the place she was currently staying.
 

According to hospital policy, the birth mom rides out in a wheel chair, and the baby must ride in car seat, in birth mom’s lap… Hilary walked beside them as transport personnel escorted us out of the facility. This was not quite the joyful hospital departure we envisioned, especially not with our first baby. Jordan met us at the door and we hopped in, getting Zoey all safely fastened in her car seat. The silence within the car was stifling, knowing that there was so much all of us wanted to discuss.

Several minutes into our drive, Hope finally began to open up. She said, “Just so you know, this adoption is a lot different from my first one.” We won’t go into specific details, but we proceeded to talk about some of the doubts she was having, and tried to encourage her in anyway we could. Deciding to adopt is such a fragile decision and cannot be made lightly or hastily. The air in the car lightened up as we all had the chance to open up about how we were feeling. We grabbed food on the way, then gave the birth dad and Hope’s son the opportunity to meet Zoey for the first time. This was our second encounter with the birth dad who was again kind and receptive to seeing us, as well as excited to see Zoey. He made a clear effort to congratulate us and made it evident that he viewed us as her parents.

…So it began, yet another waiting period. There were 72 hours where the birth mom could not sign any official paperwork. Then, after signing away parental rights, she had 5 business days to submit in writing to the judge that she changed her mind. This made for a total of 10 days that our right to parent this precious little girl were in limbo. We were obviously unsure how to handle this time frame. Were we to guard our hearts and only half-love, if you will? Is that even possible with a beautiful tiny newborn? It was a life-long friend that pointed out to us – whether Zoey was ours or not, we would only be able to experience these first few memories with her ONCE. It was at that moment that we decided, we were all in, 110% in. We knew that even if she were to return with Hope, that The Lord knew the best plan for Zoey’s life as well as ours.

We created many unforgettable memories during the 10 day waiting period. So many visitors graciously stopped by bringing us delicious meals, lots of snuggles, and a ton of love. It was an exciting time receiving visitor after visitor in our home. We especially appreciated the very kind and generous donations of meals. How on earth do parents feed themselves when they are newly responsible for an infant? We went on our very first family adventure to Ann Arbor and also brought Zoey to church for the first time.

While we were enjoying each and every moment with Zoey, May 23rd 2018 could not come soon enough! Jordan typically has the luxury and privilege of working from home. Of course he was slotted to go on a very rare work trip on the final day. This normally would not be a big deal, but obviously the tensions were high as we waited those final few hours. Thankfully, a wonderful friend came to visit Hilary and Zoey to keep them company. 4:00PM then 5:00PM rolled around... We found ourselves waiting for some sort of phone call, e-mail, text, or maybe even a proclamation from a horse drawn carriage signifying our right to parenthood. We decided to reach out to our adoption agency worker shortly after these times passed to ask what time the end of business day was considered to be. We received a short text stating that it was indeed 5:00PM.

This was it - Zoey was here to stay!!! 

Normally we would be together and be able to celebrate this moment as a family. However, as we learned that Zoey girl was here to stay, Jordan was making his trek home from Elkhart, Indiana. An excited phone call praising the Lord for this remarkably precious gift would suffice. The date that our adoption was signed by the judge and entirely finalized actually fell on the date of our 4-year anniversary on June 21st 2018. What an awesome date to share with our daughter!

We often praise God for his sovereignty and impeccably perfect timing. Waiting certainly is not easy. Our own plans may not always align with those that God has for our lives. In due time, those plans do come to fruition. His plans surely are better than anything we could ever imagine. The road may be broken. All too often, we stumble and fall. Press on dear friends, and pray for your heart's desire to be in accordance with His plans. Don't give up, keep the endurance, and continue running the race.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind & straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14